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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23748382">The End?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Percy Jackson and the Olympians &amp; Related Fandoms - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Camp Half-Blood (Percy Jackson), Gods, Love, M/M, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace Fluff, One Shot, POV Alternating, POV First Person, Post-Tartarus (Percy Jackson), Rating: M, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt, Vomiting, Weird Plot Shit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:55:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,729</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23748382</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico tries to kill himself but Will saves him, or does he?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nico di Angelo/Will Solace</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The End?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b> <em>Nico's POV </em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b>2:16 am</b>
</p><p><em>"</em> <em>You'll always be a useless faggot"</em></p><p>
  <em>'Why don't you just go die?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Bianca would still be alive if it wasn't for you!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He's just pretending to care for you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No one likes you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You're the most miserable person that I've ever seen."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Drew</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Octavian</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Alex</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bianca</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Faggot</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Useless</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stupid</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Worthless</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Garbage</em>
</p><p>As more and more of these thoughts, taunts, and truths swirled in my head, I placed one deep cut on each leg for each statement and sighed. I put my razor underneath of the toilet lid where I always hid it, then started to wrap my legs. I winced as I hit a particularly sore spot. Then I washed the blood off of my hands, and climbed into bed, all of my thoughts swirling in my mind. </p><p><em>Just a few more hours</em>, I thought, <em>then this is all over. </em><em>Just until 7 pm. </em>And then I blacked out.</p><p><b>6:15 am</b><br/>
I didn't sleep well, as usual. I woke up to my alarm at 6, then started my daily routine. I brushed my teeth, slipped into a long-sleeved black shirt, leather jacket, black jeans, my two skull rings given to me by Bianca, and knee-high combat boots. Then I took out my razor from it's hiding spot and carved FAGGOT into my arm, just as a forever reminder of what I really am. Useless. I cursed as I stumbled. I'd gone too deep. <em>Stupid, careless mistake, </em>I thought as I wrapped my arm, blood seeping through greedily as it touched the bandage. Then the real task began.</p><p><b>7:00 am</b><br/>
I was startled by a knock on my door. No one ever visited me, well, no one except one.</p><p>"Come in Will, " I called, cringing as my Italian slipped through. I never could pronounce those soft 'i' sounds, so I always pronounced Will's name as <em>Weel.</em></p><p>"Hey Neeks, watcha doin'?" Will smiled, cheerful as ever. He took a look around at the black walls (painted so by my request), the shut windows, and me polishing my sword. "Gods, why is it so gloomy in here?"</p><p>I stopped him before he could open a window. "I was just heading outside, so don't overstay your welcome, <em>Solace</em>" I growled the last word, but Will seemed oblivious.</p><p>I stood up, and almost, <em>almost, </em>made it to the door, before I stumbled, having to lean against the sword for support. <em>Shit.</em></p><p>"Woah there, Neeks, are you okay?" Will cried, panic seeping into his tone. He rushed up and grabbed me, supporting me.</p><p>"I'm fine, " I growled shoving Will off me with a little too much force. I could tell that Will was hurt, but I'd be damned if I cared. I couldn't let him know what I was doing, I couldn't let him know what I was planning, and the best way to do that was to push him away. Then I stalked off towards the woods, completely ignoring the breakfast area.</p><p>"Woah Woah Woah, where do you think you're going? You almost fall at the door of your cabin and then you don't even eat breakfast? Nuh-uh, not on my watch you don't." Will said, jogging to catch up with me. Will grabbed my hand and started basically dragging him towards breakfast.</p><p>I murmured something like an "I'm not hungry, " while trying to ignore the heat rising to my face. <em>Dammit, Will, you can't just grab my hand like that. People will think we're dating, more than they already do!</em></p><p>As I plopped down at the Apollo table, Will grabbed two plates of waffles and immediately started to tear into his. I stuck my finger in the syrup, licked it, cringed, and pushed my plate away.</p><p>"Nico I swear to Tartarus if you don't eat I will force-feed you these waffles," Will said, sounding more annoyed than angry.</p><p>"I'm not hungry, " I mumbled, and Will groaned.</p><p>"You're never hungry, just... At least eat one waffle, for me, please?" Will gave me puppy dog eyes, and I almost chuckled. I ate what was required and then planned to throw up later. I took Will's empty plate and my mostly full plate and walked over to the altar.</p><p>Just as I finished dumping my food into the altar, I heard a familiar voice.</p><p>"Hey, faggot! I saw you sitting with your faggot boyfriend, what we're you two talking about, making out later? " He laughed.</p><p>It was Alex, the newest Aries camper, and a big bully of mine.  I looked up, managing a small wave and a "Hi Alex."</p><p>"I told you not to talk to me you little shit," and I saw the punch coming before it hit. I dodged, but Alex was faster. Alex landed a punch square in my stomach, which caused me to vomit all over him.</p><p>"Oh, now you're in for it, nerd!" Alex roared, wiping vomit off of his face. He started beating the living Hades out of me. I blocked my face, but I was getting hit in my arms, legs, ribs, and everywhere else. It was like Alex had summoned the strength of his father just to punish me.</p><p> We were so caught up in our fighting, that we hadn't noticed that a crowd had formed around us. Chiron walked up and reared in the middle of us.</p><p>"Boys, boys, break it up! What's all this about?" And as Chiron turned to Alex, I ran. Ignoring the calls of Will, I ran faster than I'd ever run before. I didn't know where I was running, I just wanted to get away.</p><p>I was so focused on running that I didn't even notice Drew until I ran straight into her.</p><p>"What the fuck! Oh, it's you. Eeeeeew you got blood all over my shirt. Get our of the way you little faggot, just go kill yourself!" Drew screamed, then turned back to her pose of friends, complaining about the blood.</p><p>I got up from the ground, silent tears streaming down my face, and I ran back to my cabin. I locked the door, moving my bed so that no one could get in, then I screamed.</p><p>I screamed screams of agony and pain. Then I stopped. Everything stopped. I stopped crying, I stopped screaming, and I stopped thinking.</p><p>I knew what I had to do. I walked to the bathroom, retrieving my razor, and I carved deep slits into my wrists. They were so deep that I touched tendons. When I was done, I collapsed on the ground, crying.</p><p>
  <em>Father, if you can hear me, I'll be with you soon. Will, if you can hear me, I- I love you...</em>
</p><p>Then the world went black.</p><p>
  <em> <b>Will's POV</b> </em>
</p><p>After Nico ran, I stalked up to Alex and punched him square in the jaw. "That was for Nico, you anemic loser." I heard a crack, and then it was my turn to run. I knew where Nico had gone, I just had to get there before it was too late.</p><p>On the way, I passed Drew, and she was wiping something off of her dress.</p><p>"Drew, have you seen Nee- Nico?"</p><p>"Oh yeah, that freak? He ran towards his cabin or something," she said dismissively. I growled when she called him a freak, but I knew that there was no time for me to pause. Nico had been suicidal after his trip to Tartarus, which he confided in me one late night at his cabin.</p><p>
  <em>"Will, I- I need to tell you something, " Nico said, and I was so focused on the cute way that he said my name that I didn't realize that he had asked me a question for a few seconds.</em>
</p><p><em>"</em> <em>What is it Neeks?" I asked, not really paying attention as I rolled the dice, moving my Monopoly piece. We were playing on the floor of Nico's cabin, and he owned Park Place to Indiana Avenue, and let's just say that he was winning by quite a bit. "Aw bugger!" I called as I landed on Park Place. I coughed up the money, then I noticed that Nico was serious.</em></p><p>
  <em>"Okay, this is serious time, I get it. What is it, Nico?" I asked, avoiding his nickname?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My eyes widened as he described the torment that he had to go through for that year. By the end, we were both crying, me more so than Nico. I stood up, toppling over the board to give Nico a hug. We sat there like that, crying and cuddling for a while.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You good, champ?" I asked after around 10 minutes. He looked up at me, sniffed, and smiled.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yeah, t-thanks Will." I blushed. He was so cute with that damn smile.</em>
</p><p>Now I could lose him. He was my whole world, and I could lose him. I couldn't even dream of a world without Nico. I rushed up to his cabin, banging on the door.</p><p>"Nico, let me in! Nico, I fucking swear! Open this godsdamned door!" I called, swearing for the first time in a while. When he didn't open it after my incessant rapping, I started to ram my shoulder into it. It was blocked.</p><p>"For fuck's sake Nico!" I screamed, walking around the cabin. When I made it to the bathroom, I jiggled the window, and when it was locked, I punched it. Over and over again, in an almost animalistic way, I punched that glass until it broke.</p><p>Just as I was wiping my hand on my jeans to clear the blood when I stopped. I saw Nico.</p><p>I fell to my knees, for the first time in my medical career not knowing what to do. I froze, murmuring "no, no, no," over and over and over again. Then I screamed. A scream of pure mourning.</p><p>Then my God side kicked in. My eyes started glowing, and my healing magic started up. I was able to slow most of the bleeding, but Nico was still in pretty bad shape. I scooped him up into my arms, rushing towards the door, tears streaming down my face.</p><p>My God side still flaring, I kicked aside the bed and busted down the door, and started running towards the infirmary.</p><p>"Kayla! Come here right now!" I called, laying Nico down on a cot and sticking an I.V. into his arm. Then I started my healing magic again. I felt the prickling heat that came when I used my magic, but I didn't stop, I couldn't stop.</p><p>"Will, what do you- Oh gods! Oh, my gods! Will- he- What happened?!" Kayla asked, entering the room. She rushed over to Nico's bedside then immediately started undressing him to look at his wounds.</p><p>I didn't respond, I was too focused on healing Nico. I didn't stop, even when I felt like my head was splitting in two, until I was sure that each and every one of Nico's wounds had closed. Then I collapsed on the table.</p><p>"Woah Woah Woah Will, take it easy, " Kayla sighed, rushing over to support me.</p><p>I thrust her off of me, glaring at her.</p><p>"Nico just tried to kill himself. I can't just sit there and not heal him. I'm fine, so let's go back to fucking healing him before this godsdamned thing gets worse!"</p><p>"Jeez, okay Will, sorry for caring about you." Kayla murmured, but then she took in the seriousness of the situation again and went back to caring for Nico.</p><p>After we were done wrapping his (fully healed, might I add) wounds, Kayla left me alone with him. I pulled up a chair and sat beside him, my arms resting on the bed, my face inches from his.</p><p>"Why would you do this you beautiful idiot," I whispered, tears streaming down my face, "From the looks of it, you must have done this every night. Look at your beautiful legs and arms, look at your beautiful face. How could you? Don't you know that I love you?" I smiled, sniffing and wiping my eyes, before wrapping up my hand, climbing into bed behind him, and falling asleep.</p><p>
  <em> <b>Nico's POV</b> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't you know that I love you?"</em>
</p><p>I woke up from my dream, expecting to see my father's face or the darkness of Hades, but instead, I saw early morning light glittering through slitted windows. I swore softly. It didn't work. I was still alive. I wondered how, but then my brain registered what was around me.</p><p>I rolled over to see Will asleep in a chair next to my cot. His gorgeous golden hair framed his face beautifully as the light seemed to shine on all the right places of his face.</p><p><em>No, </em>I thought, <em>You can't think like that!</em></p><p>I tried to sit up as quietly as I could, taking in the fact that most of my body was wrapped in bandages, but that my wounds didn't hurt. I carefully removed the I.V. from my arm, but then the machine started to beep.</p><p>"Huh, what is- Ah, Nico!" Will sprung up from his chair, immediately pressing some button on the machine to make it stop its incessant racket.</p><p>"Sorry, they all have an alarm in case anyone tried to leave without permission... Like you just tried to," Will frowned at me, and I looked down, glaring at the bedspread.</p><p>Will gently pushed me back down onto the bed, inserting the I.V. back into my arm. "Nico, you can't just leave like that. Do you even know what day it is?"</p><p>"No," I muttered, already far away from the conversation. I was planning to sneak out at night and run away into the woods. No one would find me in the woods.</p><p>"Nico, it's Wednesday. You've been asleep for 5 days. I was- I was worried that you wouldn't..." Will sounded like he was on the verge of tears, but that couldn't be right.</p><p>"Why do you care?" I asked, meeting his gaze. He was crying, his beautiful blue eyes wet with unshed tears.</p><p>"Why do I care?" He sounded hurt, " Nico, don't you know how much I care for you? I lo- I care for you so so so much, apparently much more than you even know. Nico, when I... When I found you, " Will choked back a sob, "I fell to the floor. I couldn't move. That was the first time that I had no idea what to do. You're my whole world, Neeks. I don't know what I would ever do without you..." He broke off, obviously trying not to cry. Then he started to check my vitals, sniffing as he did.</p><p>I was dumbfounded. There was no way that he truly cared for me that much. Sure, I trusted him. I even trusted him enough to tell him about that year, but there was no way...</p><p><em>He's lying, </em>said a voice in the back of my mind, <em>there's no way someone could ever love you. He just sees you as weak, and he's taking pity on you.</em></p><p>"Here, eat this. Now that I know why you haven't been eating, I'm going to watch you like a hawk," He laughed sadly, then handed me one square of ambrosia.</p><p>I shook my head slightly. Will just frowned at me and shook his head in response.</p><p>"Nope, not happening. You are eating this ambrosia, and if you refuse, you're going to be tube-fed. I don't want that to happen, and I'm <em>sure </em>you don't want that to happen, so you're going to eat this ambrosia." My eyes widened when he mentioned that I may have to be tube-fed. I hated anything to do with hospitals. Ever since I was a little kid, they always terrified me. I felt claustrophobic and sick in them. So, with shaking hands, I took the ambrosia and ate a small nibble. It tasted like the chocolate-chip cookies that Bianca used to make for me, and I started to cry.</p><p>Will immediately knelt down next to me, wrapping me in his arms. I tried to shoulder him off, and he backed up but still kept a hand on the small of my back, rubbing me comfortingly.</p><p>"What's wrong Neeks?" He asked, and when I shook my head no, he just said, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, I'm here. It's okay." That just made me cry harder. I took a bite of the ambrosia, trying to ignore that I was crying, but I could barely eat with all of my tears.</p><p>We sat like that for a minute, me silently crying and Will rubbing my arm, and then he stood up and excused himself to go check on another patient.</p><p>As soon as he left, I broke down. I started sobbing, real sobbing. Hiccups and snot and disgusting-ness. It took all of my willpower to keep from screaming. I cried so hard that my empty stomach couldn't take it, and I threw up in my lap, which only made me cry harder.</p><p>Will came back a few minutes later to find me crying and trembling with a pool of vomit in my lap. He soothed me, calmed me down, and helped walk to the bathroom. I tried to tell him that I could do it myself, but after 5 days of sitting in bed, I could barely walk. I reluctantly used Will as a crutch to get to the bathroom, but then I shooed him away, telling him that I could get changed myself.</p><p>As soon as he left, I rushed to the toilet and threw up again, this time from stress. I sighed, wiping my mouth, and started to put my new scrubs on, when I stopped and started to peel back the bandage on my arm, more so out of curiosity than anything.. When I saw what was once there, I gasped.</p><p>There was nothing. No 'faggot', no scars, nothing. It was like I had taken a time machine back to when I was 12 years old before this whole thing had started.</p><p>After I was dressed, I staggered out of the bedroom and collapsed onto the bed, breathing hard. I noticed that the sheets had been changed and that Will was nowhere in sight. I felt a pang of sadness but just as quickly as it came, I pushed it away. I shouldn't be allowing myself to feel any emotions. I don't deserve to feel any emotions.</p><p>Then Will came back and started to put the I.V. back into my arm, and I saw that he was about to speak, so I beat him to it.</p><p>"Will, what is this?" I asked gesturing to my unwrapped arm. He looked at it, then rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.</p><p>"Well, that's, um... When I found you, my powers kicked in and I started to heal you. I guess I healed a little too much, heh..." Will murmured, avoiding my gaze.</p><p>" 'A little too much'?! Will, you got rid of all of my scars. That's not 'a little too much'! How much magic did you use? You had to have hurt yourself, why did you even-" I got cut off as Will spoke up.</p><p>"Nico, don't you dare ask<em> why</em> I did it. If you could, you would've done the same thing for me. Yes I went a little overboard, and yes it hurt like the dickens, but I <em>saved </em>you, and that's all that I care about." Will said, a sudden fire lighting in his eyes as he spoke. I shied away from this newly found enthusiasm.</p><p><em>See, he hates you, </em>the voice cooed, and I tried to shut it up but it kept repeating it over and over again. <em>He hates you. He hates you. He hates you...</em></p><p>Then Will knelt down beside me, seeing my eyes grow distant. "Nico, can I ask you one thing?" He prodded gently.</p><p>I looked up at him, fear in my eyes. I knew what he was going to ask and I shook my head no, but he continued anyway.</p><p>"Why...?" That was it, the question that I didn't want to answer; that I could never answer. I shut down, looking straight forward, a stoic expression on my face.</p><p>He sighed, seeing my expression. "It's okay, you don't have to answer. You're not ready and that's okay. Just... Here, can you take one bite of ambrosia? For me?"</p><p>I shook my head no, and he broke off a tiny chunk, no bigger than his fingernail.</p><p>"Just this much, please Nico..." He looked at me, his big blue eyes pleading, and I knew that it was hopeless. I took the ambrosia from him, chewed it, and swallowed, managing to not cry.</p><p>"There you go, that's it, " he cooed after I swallowed. Then he started to mess with my fluid bag.</p><p>I watched him for a minute, until curiosity got the better of me and I asked, "What are you doing?"</p><p>Will smiled at me. "Well," he said, turning back to his work, "right now I'm putting your new anti-depressant in this bag. I figured that you would refuse to take a pill, so we're having to "inject it"." He started humming softly to himself as he worked, but I was taken aback.</p><p><em>An anti-depressant? I don't need... </em>I trailed off.</p><p><em>Just another reason not to trust him, </em>my brain replied, <em>he's doing all of this to trick you. He doesn't love you, he's just pumping you full of drugs to make you think that he's helping.</em></p><p>I sighed, trying not to cry. Eventually, Will stopped what he was doing, grabbed a book, and sat down in his chair.</p><p>"Leave me alone," I whispered.</p><p>"What was that Neeks?"</p><p>"I said leave me alone!" I screamed. I stopped, startled. I had no idea where the rage came from, but Will looked hurt, and it almost made me want to cry.</p><p>"You know what, Nico? Fine... I'll leave you alone for today. But I will never, <em>never, </em>stop trying. And I won't stop until you're better, do you understand me?" I looked straight ahead, glaring at the wall. "Now I'm just going to sit right here and read my book and wait for you to fall asleep."</p><p>As soon as he said the word 'asleep', my eyelids felt heavy. As I leaned back into my cot, I murmured, "Will, I'm sorry..." and then I fell asleep.</p>
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